The Septic Tank Guy

Deep in a dark, dank corner of our basement, which supports our house just fine but is pretty much otherwise useless unless you are conducting a study of fluid dynamics (specifically seep), self-treating your arachnophobia, or into the sport of growing odd things on your rutabagas, there is a red box with a red light and a buzzer that — when triggered — emits a noise similar to an army of angry June bugs trapped in a waxed paper factory.As a guy who has carried an ambulance and fire department pager for most of the past 25 years, I’m used